Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Future, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Freebooter, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of magnitude.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Heaven, n. A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound your own.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Duty, n. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Palace, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Commerce, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Truth n. An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of the human mind and has a fair prospect of existing with increasing activity to the end of time.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Abrupt, adj. Sudden, without ceremony, like the arrival of a cannon-shot and the departure of the soldier whose interests are most affected by it. Dr. Samuel Johnson beautifully said of another author's ideas that they were "concatenated without abruption".

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Epicure, n. An opponent of Epicurus, an abstemious philosopher who, holding that pleasure should be the chief aim of man, wasted no time in gratification from the senses.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Elector, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Edible, adj. Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Learning, n.The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Reporter, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Impunity, n. Wealth.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Immigrant, n. An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Rapacity, n. Providence without industry. The thrift of power.

Devil's Dictionary Word of the Day

Talk, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose.