It now appears that Thursday's referendum wasn't about EU membership after all. More than 14m people scratched a mark on a piece of paper in a historical bit of direct democracy that was actually about...
1) An unofficial Tory party leadership contest
2) An unofficial independence referendum for provincial England (and the place next door with Gareth Bale and lots of sheep)
3) A protest against government cuts
So we don't need to trigger Article 50 at all, because it's surely not relevant to any of the above.
(PS: I forgot to mention the NHS. Somehow it's ALWAYS about the bloody NHS.)