Miami Vice

I enjoyed this. I never had time to get too distressed about the plot. From start to finish Michael Mann keeps the excitement level one step ahead of the encroaching bafflement.

He decided not to take his updated Miami Dade vice cops back to the eighties, but it looks like Colin Farrell tried on his own anyway, and overshot by about ten years. What's with that Lech Wałęsa tash? You'd think being called Sonny Crockett was a bad enough social handicap.

Gong Li, more than ten years Farrell's senior, but stunning as ever, somehow has to behave as if she finds him attractive. Between them there exists the kind of lack of chemistry normally associated with the first few moments after the Big Bang.

But hey, Mann gives us plenty of cool go-fast boats on their way to Havana (for a mojito) and gorgeous planes in the clouds shots, and the narcos are just that little bit more sinister than any we have encountered before. (Non-Islamic locations like Haiti and Ciudad del Este get the durka durka music treatment, because every shithole is full of people that hate the American way of life in the same psychotic way now isn't it?)

Who would want to be a narco's goon in Miami? What with Horatio Caine and his colleagues and now this lot, the use of lethal force without so much as a "you have the right to remain.." seems to be the standard MO in the sunshine state.