Monday, October 18, 2010

Black choppers over Antigua

Little more than a week has passed since 'Don Marco' was taken from us and already the conspiracy theories are starting to take shape.

The first of these was formulated by 'Norm' in a comment on this blog. Mark, it is said, always sat suspiciously in the very same seat at the RumBar, pushing out conversations that seemed "tailored for a wire". 'Norm' "figured him for a skip" from the start, and these figurations soon extended to the goose-bump inducing conclusion that Jeffrey Lyn Cassman had been captured and flipped by the Feds before being sent down here to pen provocative blog posts and generally stir up Antigua's non-indigenous population of losers, drop-outs and fugitive felons.

Then, for want of a better term, there's the 'Jewish' conspiracy theory, outlined by 'George' on GuateLiving. Cassman it seems, sounds a bit like Finkleman, so might we not speculate that far from being the Opus Dei nutjob that he purported to be, 'Don Marco' was in fact a Christ-killing fifth columnist who, knowing that Hebraic tendencies are such an obvious marker for financial irregularities, decided to don the cassock of Catholic acceptability by swotting up on the Universal Church with the aid of such scholarly tomes as Catholicism for Dummies and The Devil's Final Battle and repeated viewings of The Passion of the Christ?

And lastly, and possibly related, comes the theory articulated by Elgordo (amongst others) that 'Don Marco' used his piety as a form of mind control, with particular emphasis on maintaining order, discipline and all-round submission at home, thus freeing him up to concentrate on the outdoor front where he went about his business like a lone wolf.

Have I missed any?


scott said...

I always thought he was in reality a 13-year-old female Korean piano prodigy who used her powers of mind-control to cast a foggy cloak of obscurity over her true identity.

Or, maybe just a load-mouthed bigot who, like all sociopaths, could be alternately charming and obnoxious, and always narcissistic.

GC said...

That last one seems the most credible.

Begonia said...

Don't forget the conspiracy theories that were tossed out about Sweaty Peten in the comments. I believe one commenter stated that the missionary couple had molested children in the Peten.

I think a lot of people in this modern world get needed adrenaline rushes by posting nasty comments.

(Jeff Cassman, it seems, had to go far beyond that in order to satisfy those cravings)

norm said...

The proof will be in the time he pulls, Mark/Jeff is not the first nor the last expat that my government has used as bait. Laugh if you want but my money is on a flip based on my meetings with the man. Time will tell if I'm wrong.