The 355 (2022)

This espionage 'thriller' is so utterly formulaic it verges on parody. Though unaccompanied by any underlying sense of humour. 

Paris, France; London, England; Shanghai, China...

Lupita Nyong'go is the best of the international spy quintet here. I thought Chastain was also going to be good in a kick-ass role, but then she went to Morocco dressed like one of those ludicrous Americans one sees around here suitably atired for a rowing regatta on the African savannah. 

Before leaving Paris Penelope Cruz (no longer encumbered by her wobbly attempt at a Colombian accent) clearly had time to stop on the Rue Saint-Honoré to refresh her wardrobe. She was handed the most 'I never signed up for this' part, and visibly struggles with it, though in fairness has been almost no assistance by the screenplay. 

There's a predictability to almost every scene once the plot gets rolling, at least until the final act which first acquires an uncomfortably dark and nasty edge and then fizzles out rather bizarrely. 

It all kicks off with a drug deal that isn't a drug deal, right outside Bogotá, which still goes wrong, of course times two, and then we are off to a series of gratuitous proper city locations as our (initially) four female agency employees team up on an off-the-books chase after a 'drive' that can do every imaginable nasty thing to all of our connected stuff. 

They are of course forced to go 'rogue', simultaneously tasked with saving the world and clearing their own names. I then started counting the number of times during the Craig years that 007 lost or surrendered his official status. In spy movies this is becoming a bit 'hand me your gun and badge'.

The title is derived from Agent 355, the codename of a female spy for the Patriots during the American Revolution. We learn this basically irrelevant piece of information just before the end credits roll.