Monday, June 27, 2005

The Snakes are Hissing

As Victor the Evictor loved to say last year.

Evictee Roberto has been snapped up by Aldo Zilli who plans to turn him into the new face of televised Italian cookery. He's certainly better off out of the house than in it, as the long-anticipated and potentially bloody showdown between Team Diva and Team Chav seems to have been brought forward by his departure on Friday.

The other day Science amusingly referred to Team Chav as "Tweedle Dumb, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Twat", though the new trio in Big Brother's secret airless hole would appear to be equally deserving of the collective epithet. (Eugene may actually prove less interesting to listen to than the helicopter drone that E4 typically deploys to blank out dodgy dialogue.)

Team Diva have been tentatively exploring their own possibilities for future internecine backstabbings when Cidergate erupted, Vanessa having nasaly whispered to Makosi that Kemal was her fan, not her friend.

The vitriolic response the alco-rustling was led by Maxwell and Saskia - hunchback and hunchfront. "It's the principle", bleeted Saskia, forgetting how her gang had callously deprived the loners and moaners of their vino ration back in the days when their own star was in the ascendant.

Craig looked like a net-gainer in the game of chimpanzee politics just a few days ago, but now that the battle lines are drawn it's not going to be easy for him to move around (and across) so freely.

In contrast Derek's toast appears to have landed butter-side up.

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